The Christmas holidays are typically a time of joy, a time to connect with friends and family, and a time of reflection. However, for some, the holidays can be stressful and anxiety inducing. Many of us feel the pressure to visit relatives we try to avoid, we find ourselves ruminating and stressing about uncomfortable interractions. Good news: You have the power to change these interractions and your reaction to them. Use the following tools and tricks to cope with unwanted interractions.
1. Become an observer, distance yourself from the dynamic and pretend to be an audience member watching a play. Being an observer helps us defuse from strong emotions, reducing emotional reactivity and allows our brains to access reflecting processing.
2. Reframe the narrative through the 3rd person. Instead of thinking, "Why does my aunt always put me down?" Try narrating the interraction through the 3rd person and say "there's my aunt being rude and out of touch". This approach helps you create the emotional space required to defuse from any difficult emotions which may arise in that moment.
3. Change the narrative, redirect uncomfortable conversations by simply saying "Let's talk about something else". Remember, you can always walk away, you get to choose if you want to engage.
4. Create a plan: set boundaries, accept others for who they are, manage expectations, practice self care, create an exit strategy, set time limits, and practice forgivness.
Difficult emotions may surface this holiday season, make time to identify them, and allow yourself to feel them.
-Maggie Pettit
